ISBN 9783749436620
THE MASTERY OF LIVE
A Course in Selflove
oder im Buchhandel
THE MASTERY OF LIFE -
A Course in Selflove
The Key to the Gateway of Life is the Light of Love
Waltraud Kuon
Lay your hands on your heart everyday and get in touch with yourself. Speak words of acknowledgement and direct them into your inner self. Say something nice to yourself. You will become brighter within yourself and feel lighter! Build up a loving relationship with yourself which shines internally and externally and gives free reign to a heart that is full of life and to your own life.
Take the first step today:
"I ask to be able in my imperfection to love, respect and accept myself. And I ask to be able to love and respect myself with all my inadequacies as well as my strengths and weaknesses.
Say and direct it within yourself:
10 times - 100 times - 1000 times
Allow your soul to become a personality.
Become aware of your negative characteristics leading you astray. Free yourself from them.
Form your soul anew.
To give the human being the courage to get going and find his talents along his individual way is a matter close to my heart. It is my wish for him that he lets go of the destructive fears, frees himself from painful habits and is able to lead a happy and independent life.
Each and every person is capable of doing good things and good deeds. Perhaps he's lost faith in himself, thinks very little of himself, and has forgotten who he truly is. He doesn't need to become anybody else. A person can't change his original self and will never be able to. With courage however, he can bring down the walls and open himself up to life anew. In his centre he is exactly as life needs him.
Life needs YOU especially!
The words of R.W. Emerson touch me deeply:
"Everyone holds society for being more clever than his soul and doesn't know that the soul - his soul - is wiser than the whole world."
I would like to guide people in how to love themselves. It is this love of self that fulfills the soul and offers protection along their journey which they take with responsibility and self-determination.
The soul can grow and develop only under the protective blanket of love and helps others to be strong and to cope with life.
I no longer want to neglect saying what's most important in a person's life. It is learning to love, respect and acknowledge one´s self. Valuable people take valuable steps.
Never give up hope!
Valuable steps that serve all of creation, need permanent impulses from open hearts and inspiration - inspiration from the cosmos through the spirit of creation, which inflames the soul.
Along his way a person learns
t o f e e l and to l i s t e n ...
Who is that behind the wall?
"It seemed as if a strange spirit was raging in me destroying my soul."
Completely helpless and full of fear I shut all the doors going out to life.
"This Life" as it was, meant only fear.
It all started in early childhood when during the night, dark shadows tore at my throat wanting to pull out my soul. I was afraid that one day they would gain victory over me.
I didn't know then that the loss of the soul meant the end of liveliness.
I wasn't experiencing any protection, so I thought, and my fighting spirit was weary.
In my darkest and most threatening hour, exhausted, I saw myself at the mercy of the gloomy forces, I felt a bright light above me and to my right. An angel called my name with a loud voice and spoke:
“Pray the Lord’s Prayer! The devil can’t tolerate that!”
And I prayed: “Our Father who art in Heaven …”
At the word – Heaven –, I didn’t get any further, the shadow lost its power, was pulled away from me, sucked into a vortex, that overpowered it.
The light dissolved the darkness into pure nothing.
From that hour on I knew that if angels intercede on my behalf to keep the devil off my back, my life must have a purpose.
The powers of heaven and earth have been leading me through a hell on earth..
I often lay for hours on the floor praying, crying, screaming, begging God to help me.
Difficult days outweighed the good days.
I no longer understood the world.
I can’t go on this way.
If not so – how then?
How does life work?
My prayers were answered.
... (Go on reading in the book.)
My decision to take a totally new course was certain
Simultaneously with making my new decisions, life provided me with the right and important people at my side. By “coincidence“ and angel-like, they crossed my paths and with gentle hints let me know which steps to take next.
I did my homework diligently and didn’t miss a day without placing my hands on my heart, saying something nice to myself, in the beginning just wanting to be by myself for a few minutes, having some peace and quiet.
10 times, 100 times, 1000 times I spoke good and warming words of love, respect and acknowledgement into myself. Strange and wondrous worlds of emotion were opened up to me. I felt life, good life.
I became aware that words and thoughts could change my life.
... (Go on reading in the book.)
My father was a man of large stature and noble character, who cried when sad and asked forgiveness when he made a mistake. He was genuine, humble and affectionate. He followed his heart and showed absolute greatness in his thoughts and actions. Already as a young person, I admired him for his strength and his courage not to be ashamed of showing his feelings.
How could it happen that we lost touch with each other? On my way - back to my heart - we found each other again.
I undertook to no longer deny my feelings. I cried when I was sad. Regardless of all the self-controlled people around me, I expressed the feelings I had feared for so many years. What I held inside should be able to be expressed whenever the necessity and need arises.
... (Go on reading in the book).
From now on I lived my life.
... (Go on reading in the book).
I searched for myself and found myself
For years I looked for myself in the distance and found myself deep down inside.
A path full of events opened up for me. At times it led me over a course of detours, extensive and full of suspense, but finally breathtakingly successful and into my own independent life, free from the opinions of others. The door to freedom and truth was opened more and more.
I was very anxious and curious as to how people would react to my new behaviour, being aware of my feelings, thinking for myself and not saying yes to everyone. I was afraid of rejection. It turned out to be the opposite.
... (Go on reading in the book).
and we can hear them, if we are willing to leave the old, incurable and destructive ways behind. When we become pure and gentle, we can tune into them. We can find them in a world of tender silence. Those who find the courage to show their sensitivity and vulnerability are in resonance with the angels and are likewise borne by them.
Along my journey finding myself, I noticed how many people didn’t have the courage to show their real selves.
I wouldn’t have been ready voluntarily to leave the ways of feigned strength, rawness and excessive demands. This corresponded to my character up until then. The distress I was feeling, my fear of failure and my desperation forced me to make a new decision. By looking at things through the eyes of my heart, with understanding, I had to admit that I couldn’t have everything without eventually breaking down. And so I chose a frugal, simple and peaceful life instead of inconsiderate needs of the ego that wanted everything.
There’s a saying, “he who wants everything, loses everything”. Much later the angels let it be known that happiness is to be found in frugality and simplicity.
... (Go on reading in the book.)
My valuable earth-angels, gentle, angel-like creatures of flesh and blood, gave me highest esteem.
My wonderful girlfriends and my beloved friend called me
a beloved child of God.
....... (Go on reading in the book.)
The final attacks against myself, the rejection, self-destruction and self-doubt that still remained were appeased by the love in my heart and changed into acceptance, self-esteem and a deep belief in the good in myself and in all other human beings.
I spoke to myself with enthusiasm 10 times – 100 times – 1000 times the warm words of love, respect and acknowledgement well aware of the rich returns.
And every single time an indescribable energy passed through me. It forced walls to break down.
How many protective barriers can a child build up in his adult life?
And how many years does an adult need to break down all these walls?
The healthier and more focused I became, the louder and clearer I could hear the angels’ voices. And I perceived their messages as
Signposts for every person on our planet:
“We are watching out for you with a love beyond measure. If you’ve made a decision for the good you may be very sure of it.“
“We aren’t able to help every human being. Those who choose evil and darkness over love and light and likewise those who don’t believe in angels, are moving far away from the frequency of light and love.“
Today, I am aware that the angels never abandon their beloved humans. It is the humans who distance themselves from the angels.
Already as a child, the guardian angels spoke to me and touched my back, pushed me forward up the stairs.
At that time, I thought it was the same for everyone. There was no reason whatsoever to talk about it. I took it for granted that the angels watched over us and had fun playing with us.
I would like to give you a picture of how the angels appear in my life today
I notice them in lots of people as their “golden souls”. I “see“ them in people as pure yellow, gold and also as a white light in various shapes and sizes, as their true inner nature. Likewise I "feel" the light of the angels as a guardian-angel beside the human beings. Up until now I havent’t noticed “wings“. When I find myself in a phase of intense connectivity with heaven and its winds, I sense their highly sensitive vibrations. I’m able to do this through an intensive breathing technique with a volume of seven liters.
God has given me this wonderful gift. And he has asked me to establish a way of life and existence for these almost dead and lost souls. “Help these people on earth to come alive and find their way. Fill their hearts with love and say something kind to them”, he added.
At this point, I have allowed myself to write about my calling.
You too can find the courage to search for your calling.
We are born into a family in which each member differs from the other like the fingers on a hand.
Trying to be just like someone else means failure, and leads to an unhappy life.
Be yourself, authentic, honest, direct and clear! Speak your truth! Find the right tone! Genuine and upright people with a healthy mind have become rare.
Look inside yourself and listen! Search for your calling! Go deep down within to find yourself! The treasure always lies at the bottom. If you haven’t found your treasure yet, could it be that you’ve just been scratching the surface? Breathe, breathe, breathe! Lay your hands upon your heart and put loving thoughts into it. Love is the light for your spirit, that allows you to see. Get to the bottom and find out what’s there!
Note: When you find yourself not making progress, not getting anywhere, then it’s time to dig deeper.
Life needs every loving heart in order to create a harmonious world. Life needs YOU.
Don’t wait too long.
... (Go on reading in the book.)
During the course of our lifetime our bodies, upon which we play our life melody, should become like a finely tuned Stradivarious, (named after A. Stradivari, 1644 – 1737). It is recommended that you take great care of your instrument. The soul, which resonates like the sounds of a Stradivarious, wishes to live in harmony with the body.
The body is the most important “dwelling place“ in which we soul-spirit beings spend our earthly existence. By keeping it clean and appreciating it, it will gladly serve us for a long time.
... (Go on reading in the book.)
The angels are calling: “Don’t waste any time.”
The deepest concern they have for us people here on earth is, that we should learn to love, respect and acknowledge ourselves.
“Get started today,” is what they wish.
... (Go on reading in the book.)
“All you need to do is open up your heart, let the love be seen and the spirit will come to you.“ It will fuel your thoughts (breathe! breathe! breathe!) and this spurring-on will brighten the soul so that your life can become enthusiastic for you and the world. All great things have come into being through enthusiasm.
Daily we find ourselves in the school of life
It wants to guide us well through life with the help of some life-rules:
Love, respect and acknowledge yourself and your fellow human beings with all your heart! Love is the essence of life. Without love there is nothing but emptiness.
Be thankful! Gratitude sets the life of a person on healthy and stable legs. Gratitude opens the gates to the kingdom of heaven. By giving thanks, you increase your credit, by complaining you increase your debit. That which is within appears outward.
Learn to ask! It is within man’s nature to want to help. A person who is allowed to help finds fulfillment. By asking we make another person happy; for he is needed and may give.
Live honestly!
“The truth will set you free.“
(Joh. 8, 32)
... (Go on reading in the book.)
Curious and overjoyed due to my achieved victories, I now found myself before the next higher step in the lesson of love
Love says: “Everything has a purpose.”
Life has taught me and still teaches me today, to accept everything without resistance and to love what is at the moment.
... (Go on reading in the book.)
Yes, this is how I’ll do it! This is how life works!
These thoughts feel good!
Everyday determine the path of life anew!
I was constantly rushing around from one place to another. Restless and untiring I was unconsciously chasing after an indefinable ideal.
One day I saw myself from the outside looking in rushing and running around.
I stopped and stood in the middle of the path and asked life where I'm rushing off to. Life didn't answer me.
Soon the answer came to me in a dream.
An angel spoke to me:"Slow down! You don't need to pressure yourself. Just follow your path! The true and inner life does not look for your success or for your facade. All it wants is you, your spirit, your soul and your heart!"
"Go quietly and slowly, contemplatively and with care. Step by step. You will be guided."
"Listen to the voice inside you. Life is speaking to you through your heart."
I learned how to speak with my heart
Over time, I was able to trust my heart's voice more and more.
... (Go on reading in the book.)
Where is heaven?
In a dream, I saw an image that depicted a grey shadow within a soul coming from my centre and inside of me a voice called: "You out there, come inside and fill the remaining darkness in you with the spirit of love and with a light that shines like gold. Help other dark souls, who encounter you in their fear how to fill themselves with light that shines like gold and with words of love.
This is your purpose in life!"
Heaven is within ourselves, was proclaimed to me. ("The kingdom of God is within you, today, here and now." Luk. 17,20-21)
In the spirit of self love, I should work towards this heaven
... (Go on reading in the book.)
What is there to be afraid of?
I came to realize that my fears would surface when I wasn't living accordingly and not following the voice of my heart.
... (Go on reading in the book.)
Butterflies in the heart – butterflies in the stomach
My life became free and easy. I was floating on happiness. Although I was flying with the butterflies, I still felt lonely.
If you dare to fly too high, you run into the danger of crashing.
And I crashed again and again, down onto the ground ....... (Go on reading in the book.)
Heavenly Father, where would I be without you and your angels?
"I love my life and my life loves me!"
My growing belief in myself and the good in man made me more secure. In complete new trust, I was able to approach people, free of inhibition. And I trusted myself to look people in the eye, which up until then had been completely inconceivable.
My positive experiences encouraged me and lured me out into "the world". In my wildest dreams I couldn't have imagined that I'd one day find freedom of fear at the bottom of my heart and want to embrace myself and the whole world.
Endure a standstill
I wanted to continue bravely in a forward direction. And then suddenly the past caught up with me. I literally went around the challenges in circles, around and around and around. I didn't move one centimetre forwards.
After a long period of feeling irritated and in a bad mood, I paused for a moment asking my inner self what this stagnation meant.
"You're running ahead of your life at breakneck speed. Set the pace which coincides with the pace of life! Take small steps! Already things aren't going fast enough for you and again you think that you aren't enough. Life doesn't agree with that: look back and recognize ...
(Go on reading in the book.)
Use the strength of the healing spirit in your head
"I saw the light."
A complete inner change took place within me, away from being destructive and towards being considerate with gentle reflection.
This new world, a head filled with healing spirit working together with a heart full of light ... (Go on reading in the book.)
I feel my inner cleanliness
Harmony
When my spirit-soul and my body found themselves in hamony, I no longer liked wearing any black clothing. Emotionally, that would throw me back into my hiding place. The light that I needed on my skin and inside me couldn't reach me when wearing black clothing.
The light which shines through light-coloured or colourful clothes lifts my spirit on gloomy days.
My former dependence caused me to suffer
My silent cry for love showed itself outwardly in the form of a crooked spine.
Today happiness and love are very active within me. I have learned to fulfill my life on my own, to stand up for myself and to be positive, open and honest with myself.
I give away love and happiness from my newly gained inner wealth.
I encounter people through love and they answer with love.
Because I accept myself, I feel accepted.
Because I feel accepted, I am able to accept everyone else.
Because I love myself, I feel loved.
Because I feel loved, I am able to love each and every person.
Treating myself with kindness and respect makes it possible for me to treat all other people likewise with kindness and respect.
The world has become full of colour –
and I’m blooming within it
I am happy.
... (Go on reading in the book.)
I mustn’t ever let my heart become empty again
With a fulfilled heart, I am happy and satisfied with myself and with the world.
Every day I place my hands on my heart and speak words of love, respect and acceptance to myself.
"I love, respect and acknowledge myself with my whole heart!"
10 times - 100 times - 1000 times
A bright light flows through me altering the cells in my body, filling every single cell with light and love, cleansing my thoughts and words.
The love in my heart spills over and fills up my soul from head to toe. With feet firmly planted on the ground, the soul will find its anchorage and so land on earth.
My life has become so beautiful.
Our loving spirit is constantly creating within us a deeper, additional and bigger space in which a new life filled with strength can take place. The depth of this space seems unfathomable. This is where the connection with the origin of all life, all works and all miracles takes place.
The immeasurable and creative energy we've received from this loving source affects all of us.
From the deepest primary fundament, heaven, God grants man the mercy of love.
... (Go on reading in the book.)
"Love your neighbour as yourself." (Mk. 12,99)
Under the protective sheath of love, a soul can grow into a personality.
A person's worth develops and grows with love. A person who knows his worth doesn't sacrifice himself for a little bit of recognition. He is faithful in his self-respect and he doesn't fall into disrepair by trying to do more than he can cope with. He doesn't throw his life away. He's aware that life wishes to be lived and loved, shaped by himself.
Looking back, I see that I've been successful in opening the gate to the light of life by knocking down a massive stonework. It was the barrier between my mind and my heart ... (Go on reading in the book.)
Dont't give ego a chance!
When it catches up with you, defeat it by asking if you're looking for a power play or helping love to win.
When I was in doubt, I sat down and went within myself to get in touch with love and felt it. I asked my heart: "How would you decide in this situation?" The answers were astounding and were altogether different from what I had expected. That was the end of my ego. And hereby my ego lost all power over me.
Trust the light and love in your heart!
The creative strength of spirit is a blessing, a godsend. Your heart's good intention, your untiring work and your firm belief in yourself can open doors, cause walls to crumble and when necessary, move mountains.
Breathing - I also call it - inner development
"For every disease there is a previous thought!"
The development and disentanglement of the sick cells, having lost all harmony with other cells, happens in such a way:
... (Go on reading in the book.)
Breath = soul = white smoke must fill the body from head to toe.
By having learnt to no longer be a target for the assaults coming from the darkness of the world, I know the importance of protecting my soul by being securely anchored.
If you train deep breathing daily, ground yourself intensely, your soul cannot be wrested from the body.
The dark shadows mainly become active in breathless moments of excessive demands and self doubt.
When we love, respect and acknowledge ourselves, the soul is happy and well-anchored in our body right down to the soles of our feet.
... (Go on reading in the book.)
The one who has the longer breath will persevere.
... (Go on reading in the book.)
Grounding
The world needs people who have both feet firmly planted on the ground.
And the world needs people who stand up for what they believe in.
When we are continuously and consciously connected to Mother Earth, we are guaranteed secure ground under our feet.
My experience teaches me to make sure that I ground myself daily.
By concentrating, please place both feet on the ground ...
(Go on reading in the book.)
When the human soul tells a lie or is lied to, its soul, the breath, shrinks, becomes smaller and therefore is no longer within the legs and feet touching the ground. The soul-legs are too short, the volume of the breath is too low in order to ground. Liars don't get far in life because sooner or later their lies catch up with them.
People who aren't grounded are, so to say, "hanging in the air". They are afflicted with problems and fears and all too easily pull others onto their track to a dangerous life without roots.
Human beings who have lost their grounding no longer feel the love in their hearts. And without this grounding, the magnetic field of the heart is unbearable.
As a result, these people feel insecure, confused and helpless. In their fear, they lose direction and touch with reality ...
(Go on reading in the book.)
I felt like I was dead inside -
now I'm alive again!
The most important work in a person's life is the work he does on himself, the development of his capability to love.
... (Go on reading in the book.)
On the way out into the open, I came to the realization, suffering and pain are part of a life lived in honesty.
However, my perspective had changed in the meantime:
With new awareness, I see today that what had been harming me in the past was the inner war of others, those with sick minds. These sick individuals haven`t found themselves yet and aren`t at peace with themselves. When they hurt somebody, it comes from their sick minds. They aren`t aware of what they are doing.
... (Go on reading in the book.)
"One sees clearly only with the heart!"
How very true!
... (Go on reading in the book.)
How favourably and friendly our heart’s truth shapes our life
A heart filled with love enjoys the success of a friend. It is happy when the neighbour has a lucky experience. It grieves with those who are sad.
... (Go on reading in the book.)
We need God’s help and God needs us
... (Go on reading in the book.)
God doesn’t have any other hands, any other hearts, any other ears. We are his helping, soothing, caressing and healing hands. We are his loving heart. We are the ear that attends a friend in distress with our full attention. We are his counterpart
... (Go on reading in the book.)
„Form a gigantic gold chain around the world (it should be made up of luminous souls and hearts)! Each person and every animal makes up a link of the chain. Nobody - nothing - should be left out. Make a connecting bond occur around the whole world. Shake hands and unite in love! Stick together and free yourselves from all separation and condemnation! Only united as one are you strong!" And to this God added that regardless of all religions, all colours of skin and all languages, this should come about.
I have arrived at my home within me
On a long once dark and lonely path, which gradually turned out to be brighter and more loving, I was able to learn that the mastery of life is the result of acceptance and effort in all life’s challenges and trials.
... (Go on reading in the book.)
One day we will all return to the divine order and to the truth in our hearts
In the beginning was the God Spirit that is love. And again in the end is the God Spirit, which receives the spirit-soul into his love. From this love we come and to it we will return. Throughout the course of our lives, we learn to entrust ourselves into God’s world by way of genuine words and thoughts of love and to become one with God.
The mastery, in order to achieve it, doesn’t tell us how we can find it. No, we are asked flippantly: „Who among you is going to do it?” And we are told, it would be wise to take the protective sheath of love with us along the way. Everyone must find his own way.
In stillness, we experience, feel and hear
Each and every step will be made known to us. If we live whole heartendly, in honesty and have a pure heart, we hear the fine and gentle harmonious tones of the heavenly voices.
„Your life-task,“ the angels say, „is to earn your own money with the talent that has been given to
you, and listen every moment what is asked of you.“
... (Go on reading in the book.)
It’s up to us to open our hearts to a life full of love.
It’s up to God to grant living beings the gift of love’s mercy.
On the subject of healing the heart by the opening of it, I needed still more clarity.
I was aware of many almost dead and lost souls knowing I couldn’t help them all.
During the night of January 17, 2012 God answered:
“People spend most of their time in life becoming immovable because of their hardened hearts. It’s like hoarding gold and out of fear erecting more and more safety walls around the gold.“
Open yourselves! Come out! Bring your treasures into the light!
The angels say: “More than 50 percent of the people on earth are afraid of their greatness, of what they are capable of doing. Instead they shut themselves in!”
... (Go on reading in the book.)
“If you don’t turn back and become like children, you’ll never enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
(Jesus of Nazareth)
Don’t rest on your laurels
“Be a gift!“
“Be whole and become fulfilled and give yourself to the earth in return.”
That is the plan.
... (Go on reading in the book.)
Talent and grace
... (Go on reading in the book.)
Heaven says: “At the moment, God is turning the world upside down. Everything is being renewed with people who are finding their way back to love, to build up a new earth in new harmony.”
Everybody has an equal chance, by his own doing, to open up to his talent
Breathe! Breathe! Breathe!
Train yourself to having a volume of breath of at least six to seven litres.
If you fail having success doing this on your own then look for a person specialising among other things in breathing techniques. Yoga teachers are also adepted in breathing exercises. Either outdoors or at an open window, close one nostril with the thumb and breathe in strongly through the other nostril. Breathe out through the open mouth. Then close the other nostril, again breathe in strongly through the open nostril and then out through the open mouth. Your head becomes free, your intellectual powers sharpened and your spirit fired up for action.
Listen to music! Make music!
Move your body! Dance! Sing! Laugh! Shout! Be silent. Express your feelings, the truth that’s in your heart!
Connect with the strength that brings out the good in you!
... (Go on reading in the book.)
Don’t quarrel, don’t fight, don’t judge!
Understand that it’s fear and not love that tackles you!
Be alert! In dangerous situations, be the guardian of your heart, your mind and your soul! When a “fight”presents itself refrain from bitterness and anger. Your heart would suffer from the damage. Once again it would have to build up a wall.
... (Go on reading in the book.)
It’s OK to get ahead of your primary family
Many a time it occurs that several members of a family tiringly preoccupy themselves with the problems and catastrophies of the world and get stuck in their harm, putting all their energy into that harm. Whereas other family members go along their way living their gifts and talents happily and full of enthusiasm.
... (Go on reading in the book.)
Abide
with Mother Earth,
with the light of a loving heart,
with the power of a healthy mind,
in contact with the influx of magical powers.
Thereby, you live with all other creatures united in love.
If you love your life, you receive the strength to live from this love.
“I love my life and my life loves me!”
SELFLOVE is your protection, your security in your life!
You will master your life, when love is within you and all around you!
Peace is alive within you, when you do what your inner truth demands of you.
Think, but don’t think too much.
After all, it turns out the way God, in his love for you, wants it to.
THANKS BE TO GOD!
SDG
About my life-task:
God spoke to me saying: “I need you as a helping soul for all my nearly dead and lost souls here on earth. You must show them the way to love themselves and all others, to live a happy and a good life in freedom and understanding. Help these people to come alive and find their way. Fill their hearts with love …” I had no idea of my life’s task.
At the time, I took note of the message, although I didn’t understand it.
This was soon to change. The angels led me to a self-help-program. First and foremost, I had to see to it that I rid myself of my struggles and compulsions. I didn’t yet know that I had to lead the way – from darkness into the light – in order to qualify for my life-task, and to become strong.
The powers of heaven and earth have been carrying me through a hell on earth in order to be of service to them as soon as possible.
God moves in mysterious ways!
Finding myself at rock bottom and faced with rough turns along the way, my belief in a divine plan nearly abandoned me.
Today, I know that I had to be trained and tested to be able to encourage others to keep going along the
toughest paths in their lives and to keep an eye on their goal.
Heaven hears and sees you when you are out and about with goodness in mind.
About me
At age 13, I first became consciously aware of my body.
It was incredible what I discovered.
I stood in front of the mirror and couldn’t believe what I saw.
I saw a slender, tall, attractive young woman with beautiful long legs.
Her delicate body, her long hair almost reaching her waist, pretty face with fine skin, gave her an attractive appearance.
For just a moment, I was able to feel deep happiness.
I had been recovering from the hellish experiences of my childhood allowing me to feel this happiness when a thick, constricting net fell upon me, choking me. Why couldn’t I get up? Why shouldn’t I be allowed to take part in a happy life?
How often I had to hear „Go away, we can’t stand you, and a lot more harmful words that can bring a person down mentally-spiritually, until he finally collapses and snaps.
At the time, I wasn’t able to interpret it as a huge amount of jealousy.
Today, we would call it mobbing, terrorising, tyranny.
I believed that I was unbearable and unacceptable.
I ran away from myself and my burning pain. And soon I saw myself through the eyes of others.
I began to destroy myself by letting my eating habits slip into what was abnormal. I stuffed myself with chocolate and all kinds of cheap candy and any kind of junk food and gained 20 kg in less than a few months. Hatred, self-denial and self-contempt accompanied me day and night. I was trapped in some „sort of strange mind“.
I was no longer myself and I didn’t realize that I was ill.
Over a period of more than 20 years, I slipped from excessive eating habits into phases of depression, sometimes even without eating.
Control mechanisms, thoughts of suicide and other illnesses of the mind that affect the body took control of my young life.
I had reached the critical stage of spiritual and mental emptiness.
The infirmity of anorexia, the addiction which seeks gratification had taken hold of me.
After 23 years of hell, I came across a book on the subject of loving yourself: Louise Hay „You Can Heal Your Life."
Louise Hay wrote about loving yourself and I worked out a way to get there.
Every evening, I placed a candle next to me in front of the mirror in my bathroom. I looked into my eyes and said to myself: „I love, respect and acknowledge you with all my heart, and I swear that one day you’ll be a healthy kind of slender and a healthy Waltraud once again“. And this new Waltraud will be better and stronger than ever before!“
At the same time, I crossed my hands over my heart giving this order to that special place deep inside me: „Did you understand me?! That’s the way we’re going to do it!“
I put all the strength I had into my words and only quit when tears were running down my face.
For me, my eyes were like walls and I sensed that underneath the tough layers that had to be worked through, something very valuable, fine, beautiful and loving was living there. I felt a deep longing for myself.
It took full concentration and all my ambition to free this sensitive and frightened being.
After weeks of work in front of the mirror, the walls within me began to crumble piece by piece, and I started to notice something happening in my throat and chest area.
My soul gained its life back.
My healthy consciousness received light and defended itself within me. I felt all the anger, and sadness behind it, that I had swallowed and suppressed years ago. I needed to set up new rules in my head.
I gave myself the order, „This eternal and unchanging, tiring chatter, pulling me down, has to stop.“
I traded the old spirit for a new one. But it took time. According to the signs of the zodiac, those born in Taurus, the bull, can pursue and accomplish something in a consistently stubborn and straightforward manner, once they have made the decision.
Step by step, I shovelled my way free with untiring commitment. From then on, new and constructive thoughts filled my heart and my soul with life, a life of love.
Even today, in an "emergency", I work with the mirror and lay my hands on my heart and stomach. I let the love coming from my spirit flow into them and I don’t stop until my tears have cleansed the channels.
Every crying spell is a releasing of something from the past, an opening of closed off channels, taking one to a deeper level.
And so I reach a depth in my heart I had never imagined. Here is where I take the strength that I need to live.
(PICTURE WITH FLOWERS, WITH THE AUTHOR)
My life today is fulfilled and beautiful. I am filled with happiness and gratitude due to having walked the path and finding myself again.
Personal development takes place up until our very last breath has been drawn. By facing all the challenges, each step becomes easier and freer. When refusing developmental processes, I suffer a relapse and must painfully start all over again from the beginning with the same experiences until I’ve understood the lesson.
For many years, a sick mind with all its trickery had a hold on me.
A negative power was controlling me.
I took my life into my own hands. Today, I am in charge of my thoughts and actions.
If just for a moment, I believe I can hold on tightly to life and wish to control it, or have to control it, nail it down securely, it is precisely at this moment when it slips away from me. I can enjoy life and let it flow. Filled with humility and devotion, I recognize the power of a higher love that accompanies my healthy life today along with my heart and soul, making my life fulfilling, guiding me right into the middle of happiness, day after day, after day!
I’ve become a happy person in this awareness:
I can’t please everyone. I can „only“ be true to my own heart and I no longer make other people's problems my problems.
My life is bubbling over with gratitude.
Space for personal notes of your mastery, your path to a happy and fulfilled life
About the author
Waltraud Kuon, born 1957 in Bad Saulgau, in Baden - Württemberg, Germany.
For the past 30 years, Waltraud Kuon has been working in her own practice for psychosomatic physical therapy.
She lived in Berlin from 1978 - 1997 until the Allgäuer mountains, in the southern part of Germany, summoned her.
In 2005, her dream came true to live her life close to the water.
Already as a child, the ferry boats on Lake Constance touched a soft spot in her heart. Eventually, she followed her inner voice.
Today she lives in Meersburg and works in Salem.
Acknowledgements
Heartfelt thanks to all those who encouraged me to put my dreams, inspirations and good thoughts down on paper.
This book has been written thanks to the dear friends Nele, Angela, Christiane, Ingrid, Franziska, Jean and Wilma and my friends Frank, Markus and Paul.
The path was a wonderful one, filled with joy, enthusiasm and many improvements from heaven above.
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